Recognizing that God is dealing with them (42:28), especially for what they did to Joseph years earlier (42:21), Joseph’s brothers return home anxious and afraid. Instead of viewing the money in their sacks as a divine gift (43:23), they fear that the already suspicious and hostile vizier of Egypt will find more reason to accuse them (42:35). They return to their father with such fears, without their brother Simeon, and with a demand that they bring with them their youngest brother, Joseph’s full brother Benjamin, when they return to Egypt (42:29-35). Not surprisingly, their father Jacob is not willing to entrust Benjamin into their care (42:38).

One can readily understand why Jacob would not send Benjamin with his brothers. On the emotional level, Benjamin was all that Jacob had left of his beloved wife Rachel and his favorite son Joseph (“he alone is left,” 42:38). Jacob’s tragedies have shaped him, and he keeps Benjamin at home because he fears that “harm” may befall him (42:4, 38; 44:29). Jacob’s pathetic overprotectiveness undoubtedly continually reinforces the remorse of his other sons, who know very well why their father lost Rachel’s first son. (Jacob’s fear of “harm on the way” in 42:38 might evoke Rachel dying “on the way to Ephrath,” 35:19, and even likelier Joseph disappearing on a journey to find his brothers. Jacob forgets that God had kept Jacob on his own journey in 28:20; 35:3.)

Not unlike Judah mistrusting his third son with Tamar after the loss of his first two sons (38:11), Jacob is not ready to entrust Benjamin to his brothers who “found” Joseph’s bloodied coat and who have now returned without Simeon (42:36). That the lord of Egypt specifically wants to see Benjamin—of whom Jacob thinks he need not have heard in the first place (43:6)—seems too suspicious and risks Jacob losing the one connection to his original love that he yet retains. And Jacob’s sons, who know far better than Jacob why Joseph really disappeared, know very well that they do not deserve his trust. (Whether Jacob suspected what happened is unclear, although Jacob heard about Reuben’s action in 35:22. That was probably originally meant to be a secret between fewer persons than the ten brothers who knew what became of Joseph, so rumors may have circulated about Joseph’s disappearance as well. At least by 50:17, Jacob’s sons apparently believe that their father knew about their guilt, though they might presume, rightly or wrongly, that Joseph told him.)

Although God had given Jacob various blessings, Jacob’s experience of tragedy shapes his perception about everything else. Unlike Esau, Jacob had pleased his parents by going to Paddan-Aram to get his wife, and the one wife he truly loved and desired there was Rachel. Although Jacob’s continued favoritism of Rachel’s children (probably even “my son” in 42:38) is undoubtedly not pleasant to his other sons, the narrative shows that they are no longer like they were years earlier when they sold Joseph. At this point they may have more pity for their father (and regret for their behavior) than jealousy.

When Jacob laments, “You have bereaved me!” (42:36; cf. his fear that they would kill him with grief in 42:38), he may speak the way one might speak to a bearer of bad news. Genesis’s hearers, however, understand that the brothers really are the reason that he does not have one of Rachel’s sons, and consequently the reason that one of Leah’s sons (Simeon) also is not with them.

Although not always on the surface, a tragic loss is never completely forgotten. Joseph always appears in the background even of discussion of the family (the one who, literally, “is not”; 42:13, 32, 36; “dead” in 42:38; 44:20), a loss that can never be fully forgotten. (That they speak of Joseph as dead may be more an inference than a lie, although it evades the question of their responsibility; after so many years lost in laborious slavery, Joseph might well be presumed deceased—but for God’s plan.) Whereas Abraham, Jacob’s grandfather, appears as a man of great faith, Jacob at this point appears as one broken by his losses. Yet, perhaps unknown to Jacob, God was still with him (46:2-4).

Jacob’s struggle illustrates how tragedy wreaks havoc in our lives. His sons’ struggle, however, illustrates the ravages of guilt. A decision taken in haste that treats lightly another person can bear lifelong consequences, though in many of our lives on many occasions God’s grace has mitigated these.